Joke of the Day!

A magician was working on a cruise ship.

Since the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot. Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... With the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said "Okay, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"

Joke of the Day!

So a hippie sits down at a bar and tries to order a beer on a tab, but the bartender wants money up front which the hippie doesn't have. So the guy next to him offers to buy him a beer. They start talking and drinking and drinking and talking. After a while the guy says to the hippie, "come with me to the bathroom and I'll give you a blow job". 

Suddenly the hippie jumps off his stool, pushes the guy down, and starts kicking the guy repeatedly. 

A couple of patrons pull the hippie back. They ask him what the guy said to piss him off so much. 

"Something about a job. "

Joke of the Day!

A balding white haired man walks into a jewelry store with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.' The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'Sir...There's no money in that account.

''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.’

Joke of the Day!

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!" The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle, and extends it back to the woman. Politely, the woman refuses to accept the bottle. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."

Joke of the Day!

Two Tennessee Rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Bubba turns to Jim Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes." Jim Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Bubba goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bubba says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weedeater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weedeater, I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."

"Yes, I do have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weedeater!"

Excited to take the class now, Bubba shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Jim Bob at the bar. He tells Jim Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim Bob says, "What's that?"

Bubba says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weedeater?"

"No."

"Then you're gay."

Kansas Beef Expo!

Market Animal
Champion Simmental Steer
Sire: I 80
Dam: Smilin Bob
Bred by: Harmes
Sold by: Arthur, RJ
Congratulations to Jake Nikkel!

5th Overall Market Animal
3rd Overall Crossbred Steer
Sire: MAB
Dam: Smilin Bob
Bred by: Cronk
Sold by: Arthur
Congratulations to Tommy Glover

Joke of the Day!

3 guys walk into a forbidden garden. They start eating from the garden but they get caught. The forbidden garden tribe leader says they will be sentenced to death unless they can quickly bring 10 of any fruit to them immediately. The first guy comes back with 10 apples and the tribe leader says, "Now put them in your ass without making any noise." He tries really hard but can't make it so they execute him. The second guy comes with 10 cranberries and he is told to do the same. He almost finishes but he starts laughing and they execute him. As the spirits of the 2 are moving on, the first guy says "Why did you laugh?? you were gonna make it" The second guy responds "Because I saw the third guy coming with watermelons"

Joke of the Day!

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.For weeks, the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.Then one day, the rancher's widow said "you have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night. He returned around 2:30am, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said: "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!

Joke of the Day!

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip.

Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire.

"Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?" 

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?"

I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. 

She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, "now, you can do what ever you want."

So here I am.

Joke of the Day!

Joke of the Day!

An employee walks into his boss's office demanding a raise. He says, "I'm sorry to do this to you boss but I have several companies after me and I'm going to have to ask you for a raise."

At first his boss was reticent but after some hemming and hawing she finally gave in. "Well, I can offer you a 10% raise and some incentives." That was good enough, and the employee went to leave. As he was walking out the door, however, she called after him, "By the way, which companies were after you?"

He replied, "Oh, you know... the water company, the gas company, the electric company..."

Joke of the Day!

... Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. 

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and persuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday." Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, 

"How did you do over the weekend?" 

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." 

"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" 

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." 

"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd guy) 

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." 

"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!" 

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'This is your butt before prison....'"

Joke of the Day!

Joke of the Day!

Joke of the Day!

Joke of the Day!

There are 6 people a private jet flying across the states. The pilot comes out of the cockpit and says "well, this plane is going down, and there are only 5 parachutes so yall can fight over the other 4", and he jumps. Leaving 4. Then a middle aged man in a lab coat says ,"well im a leading scientist in the cure for cancer" so he jumps. Leaving 3 parachutes, with 4 people. Then another man gets up and says "my wife is having her baby tomorrow", so he jumps aswell. Then there were 3 people with only 2 parachutes. The 3 left were another middle aged man, a 15 year old teenage boy, and a 73 year old priest. The middle aged man gets up and says "im the smartest man in the world, this world could not function without my knowledge", so he jumps. 1 parachute left. The priest says to the young kid, "go on you take it, there is only 1 left, i have lived my life, you're still young and have a bright future." The kid replies, "actually father, the smartest man in the world grabbed my backpack."

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hope everyone has a great day and safe travels!

Heifers For Sale!

Contact Scott Garten for more info!

Joke of the Day!

A couple were holiday shopping at the mall, and the place was packed. As the wife walked through the mall, she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. 

She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and hence, she became worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.

In a quiet voice he said: "Honey, do you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day?" 

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."

He replied: "Well, I'm in the pub next door!"

Joke of the Day!

A man really wants a bike, so one day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After he picks out the perfect bike, the dealer tells him about an old biker trick that will keep the chrome on his new bike free from rust. The dealer tells him that all he has to do is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome before it rains, and everything will be fine. He happily pays for the bike and leaves. A few months later, the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily accepts and the date is set. At the appointed time, he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break the silence and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes, the young man decides to speed things up, so he reaches over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he slips his hand under her blouse and fondles her breasts. Still no one says a word. Finally, he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. No one says a word. Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws HER on the table. They have even wilder sex. Still no one speaks. By now he is thinking what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he gets his jacket, reaches in his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline. And the father says "Okay dammit, I'll do the dishes!"

Joke of the Day!

The Doctor gave the old man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open.

Joke of the Day!

A man was stopped by the police around 2 am. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replied, "That would be my wife."

Job Opening!

I am looking for someone to work full time starting December 1st through May, possibly longer. Need someone who can break calves, wash & blow, and clip and fit! Housing is available! Pay is per day! Must have cattle knowledge as well as experience in clipping and fitting! Please call 620-655-5159 for more information!

Joke of the Day!

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him." The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me!" The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!" The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!"

Joke of the Day!

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate. 

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. 

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye. 

Reading his mom's thoughts, the son volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates." 

About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" 

He said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." He sat down and wrote : Dear Mother: I'm not saying that you ‘did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ‘did not' take the silver plate .. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, your son 

Several days later, he received an email from his Mother which read: 

Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you ‘do' sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you ‘do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under the pillow… Love, Mom.

Joke of the Day!

There are two brothers, aged four and six.

The six year old says "You know, it's about time we started to swear."

The four year old says "OK."

The six year old says "From now on I'll say 'HELL' and you say 'ASS.'

"The four year old says "OK."

So they go downstairs and their mother says "What would you boys like for breakfast? "The six year old says "Oh what the hell, I'll have corn flakes."

WHACK!

The kid goes flying across the room.

The mother turns to the four year old and asks "And what would YOU like for breakfast?"

The four year old says 

"I don't know, but you can bet your ass it's not corn flakes."

Joke of the Day!

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?"

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger!"

Joke of the Day!

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom he rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his four-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, walks past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten bastard," says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

Joke of the Day!

A guy enters bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." 

The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed! 

Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." 

After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman... 

"I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."

Joke of the Day!

Happy Veterans Day!

Joke of the Day!

A blonde tries to go horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to lose her grip and starts to slide in the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the mane but can't seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horses neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to it's slipping rider. Unfortunately, the Blonde's foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over again. As her head is battered against the ground she is moments away from losing consciousness when, to her great fortune, the Walmart's Manager sees her and unplugs the horse.

Joke of the Day!

The bartender asks him why he ordered three shots. "My life-long friends and I have a tradition. We grew up together but have since gone our separate ways. One is in England and one in the USA, but we each go into a bar on the same day every year and order three shots of whiskey. It's as if we are drinking them together." He then drinks the shots and leaves the bar. The next couple years, he returns and does the same. Then, one year the man returns but only orders two shots. He drinks them both. "I can't help but notice you only ordered two shots," the bartender said. "It appears you must have lost one of your friends. My condolences." "Oh no," the Irishman said. "Those chaps are doing fine. I just quit drinking, that's all."

Joke of the Day!

Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?"

"A cat!" said Suzy.

"Good job. Now, what's this animal?"

"A dog!" said Ricky.

"Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.

The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad."

"I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!"

Joke of the Day!

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

Job Opening!

I am looking for someone to work full time starting December 1st through May, possibly longer. Need someone who can break calves, wash & blow, and clip and fit! Housing is available! Pay is per day! Must have cattle knowledge as well as experience in clipping and fitting! Please call 620-655-5159 for more information!

Joke of the Day!

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.' And then the fight started..

Joke of the Day!

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

MAB Steer For Sale!

Joke of the Day!

A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.' An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic. Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste." Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth." Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene." Chinese: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20." The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money. Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything." Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth." Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste." Chinese: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20." The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100. Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all." Chinese: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100." Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!!" Chinese: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20" You can't beat Chinese Doctors

Joke of the Day!

A man owned a small ranch near Great Falls, Montana. The Montana Labor Department got a tip that he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an investigator out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the investigator.

"Well," replied the rancher, "there's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1200 a week plus free room and board."

"The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $1000 per week plus free room and board."

"Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day, with no days off, and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week and pays his own room and board."

"But, I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night, and he also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to... the half-wit," says the investigator.

"You're talking to him," replied the rancher.

Joke of the Day!

Two elderly sisters donated $5 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to a football game. Since they had never seen a live football game before, Madge thought the free tickets would provide an excellent opportunity for doing so. "I think so, too," said Mabel. "Let's go!" They soon found themselves high in a noisy stadium overlooking a large, grassy expanse. They watched the kickoff and the seemingly endless back-and-forth struggles that comprised the scoreless first half. They enjoyed the band music and cheerleader performance that followed. Then came the second half. When the teams lined up for the second-half kickoff, Madge nudged her sister. "I guess we can go home now, Mabel," she said. "This is where we came in."

Joke of the Day!

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming." "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket." The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

Joke of the Day!

Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

MAB Steer For Sale!

Job Opportunity!

I am looking for someone to work full time starting December 1st through May, possibly longer. Need someone who can break calves, wash & blow, and clip and fit! Housing is available! Pay is per day! Must have cattle knowledge as well as experience in clipping and fitting! Please call 620-655-5159 for more information!

Georgia National!

Supreme Champion hefier at the Georgia National!

Shown by austin Floyd

Raised and sold by shirley show cattle

Sire- smilin bob 

Dam- ground zero

Tulsa State Fair Prospect Show!

Reserve Champion Prospect Steer
Sire: Smilin Bob
Dam: Deja Vu
Bred by: Collins Cattle
Sold by: Collins Cattle
Congratulations to Sarah Armitage

Fourth Overall
Sire: Similin Bob
Dam: Angus
Bred by: Remington Lott
Sold by: Jake Stamant, PLK Show Cattle, Terry Lockhart
Congratulations to Jake Paul Perryman

American Idol x Monopoly steer for sale!

American Idol x Monopoly Steer for sale!

Contact 620-655-5159 for more info!

Grand Champion AK-SAR-BEN!

Grand Champion Market Animal
Grand Champion Steer
Sire: Smilin Bob
Dam: Apocalypse
Bred by: Chad Thompson
Sold by: Thompson, Foreman, Webster, Choate
Congratulations to Ross Heffling

Job Opportunity!

I am looking for someone to work full time starting December 1st through May, possibly longer. Need someone who can break calves, wash & blow, and clip and fit! Housing is available! Pay is per day! Must have cattle knowledge as well as experience in clipping and fitting! Please call 620-655-5159 for more information!

Voegele Show Cattle Online Sale!

Sire: SMILING BOB 
Dam: FULL SISTER TO LEROY BROWN

Sire: SMILING BOB  Dam: IRISH WHISKEY

Knudson Cattle Company Online Club Calf Sale!

Sire:Extra Special
Dam:11-6 (Smilin Bob)

Sire:I-80
Dam:Smilin Bob

Sire:I-80
Dam:11-6 (Smilin Bob)

Ohlrichs Online Sale!

Sire: Monopoly

Dam: Smilin Bob

Sire: I-80

Dam: Smilin Bob

Happy Labor Day!

Hope everyone has a great and safe day!

Wolfe Farms Sale on CW!

Sire:Smiling Bob
Dam:Alias

New Hats!

Iowa State Fair!

Grand Champion Chianina Steer
Sire: Smilin Bob
Dam: Apocalypse
Bred by: Chad Thompsen
Sold by: Thompsen, Foreman, Webster
Congratulations to Ross Hoefling

Union County Fair!

Grand Champion Steer Union County Fair Clayton, New Mexico

Sold by Skinner Cattle Co

Raised by Olson Club Calves

Sired by Walk This Way

Reserve Champion Mainetainer Indian State Fair!

Sire: Smiling Bob
Dam: Ali
Bred by: Espinosa
Sold by: Joe Seale
Congratulations to Ellie Sennett

Joke of the day!

Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

Glover Customer Appreciation Sale!

Sells Bred to Smilin Bob on First Choice Online Sales!

O'Kelly Elite Cow and Embryo Sale!

Don't forget to get your bids in! Lots of great cattle and matings for sale!

Joke of the Day!

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

O'Kelly Elite Cow and Embryo Online Sale!

Full Sib Embryos to Champion Steer OYE 2015! Smilin Bob x 80 (Dr. Who) for sale on Breeders World!

O'Kelly Elite Cow and Embryo Online Sale!

Smilin Bob x Full Flush Bred Cow for sale on Breeders World!

O'Kelly Elite Cow and Embryo Online Sale!

Pregnant Recip with Smilin Bob x 80(Dr. Who) pregnancy for sale on Breeders World!

O'Kelly Elite Cow and Embryo Online Sale!

Pregnant Recip with Smilin Bob x 90(Dr. Who) pregnancy for sale on Breeders World!

Full Throttle Cattle Co Online Sale!

Smilin Bob x WSCC Miss Lucy 415 Embryos for sale on Breeders World!

Shirley Show Cattle Online Sale!

Smilin Bob x Ground Zero Embryos for sale on Breeders World!

Joke of the Day!

Joke of the Day!

Happy 4th of July!

Hope everyone has a safe and great Independence Day! Thank you to all who serve and help make this a free and great country!

Battle of the Cattle!

Any of our customers going to the show in Belton please contact me at 620-655-5159 to let me know! 

Joke of the Day!

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." 

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. 

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up. 

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "They're not getting divorced if I have anything to do about it," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." 

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. 

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife and says, "Okay, they're coming for Thanksgiving...now what do we tell them for Christmas?"

Reserve Shorthorn Golden Spread Classic!

        Congratulations Payton Durbin

            Sold by Skinner Cattle Co

Joke of the Day!

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics. 
"Crap!"

Joke of the Day!

A Welshman, an Englishman and a Irishman were being chased by Farmer Giles with a shotgun. After 10 minutes of running they spotted a barn and ran inside. 

Once inside they each hid in a old sack against the barn wall. The farmer went into the barn but did not see where they went, he was about to turn back when he saw three suspicious looking sacks. He walked forward and prodded the first sack with his gun. The Englishman inside said... ''Meow'.'

"Just cats," he thought.

He then prodded the second sack. The Welshman, hearing how the Englishman got off said... ''Woof'.'

"Just dogs," he thought. 

As he walked towards the last sack, the Irishman worked out what he was going to say. As soon as the farmer prodded his sack he said... ''Potatoes!''

Joke of the Day!

A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it.

The man asks, "Where's the burger?"

The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. 

The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."

Joke of the Day!

Happy Father's Day!

We would like to wish our dad Sam a happy Father's Day! We appreciate all that you have taught and done for us! Love Rusty, Beau, TJ and Kyra!

Also we hope all the other great dads out there have a good day!