Sunday, September 30, 2012

From Brodie Gutzke's Facebook!

Joke of the Day!

The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

"Mother", the nuns pleaded, "Please give us some wisdom before you die". She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, "Don't sell that cow".

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Smilin Bob Calves for Sale at Kaercher/Pickard Makin Magic in the Mitten on CW Cattle Sales!

Joke of the Day!

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.

The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.

The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner people."

A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner... NOW!"

Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.

Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"

Pretty good," chuckled the vet, "especially since this is a bus stop."

Friday, September 28, 2012

Grand Champion Steer Titus County!

Congratulations Preston Aagon on Grand Steer and Senior Showmanship!
Sold by Skinner Cattle Co!
Raised by Tim Lange!
Sired by Smilin Bob!

Joke of the Day!

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.

"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares Now what do we tell them for Christmas?

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Reserve Grand Champion Burleson County!

Congrats Taylor Muzny on Reserve Grand and Fair Queen!
Sold By Skinner Cattle Co!
Raised By Scott Garten!
Sired By Heatwave!

Smilin Bob Calves for sale at Oak Ridge Farms on CW Cattle Sales!

Smilin Bob for sale at Fassett Hay and Cattle on CW Cattle Sales!

Joke of the Day sent in from Scott Garten!

I took my wife to a disco last weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor who was giving it his all, breakdancing, moonwalking, backflips, the whole bit. My wife turned to me and said, "see that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." I turned to my wife and said "looks like he's still celebrating!"

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Joke of the Day!

There was a typical blond. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde jokes.

One day she decided to get makeover. She cut and dyed her hair brunette and went driving down a country road, searching for someone who would appreciate her for her intelligence. When she came across a herd of sheep, she stopped and called the shepherd over.

"That's a nice flock of sheep," she said.

"Well thank you," said the herder.

"Tell you what, I have a proposition for you," said the woman. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?"

"Sure," agreed the Shepherd. So the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied: "382".

"Wow," said the shepherd. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."

So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.

Then the herder said: "Okay, now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess the real colour of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Res Grand Steer at the 2012 Central Texas State Fair!

Sired by Smilin Bob
Sold by Dustin Glover
Raised by Venable Farms, Carl Venable
Twin brother is just as good.
This years full brother is a silver.
Smilin Bob X Burke bred Char Cow

From Glen Hogan!

Smiling Bob x Blue Chip. Shown very successful last year. Thanks Glen Hogan

Smilin Bob For Sale at Reichel Farms on Breeders World!

Smilin Bob For Sale From the Owner of Incredible Hulk!

Hi, this is Darryl Lovell that owns lncredible Hulk. This Smiln' Bob steer is one of the 3 best we've ever had for sure!!
Contact Darryl 570-447-3179 For more info!

Joke of the Day!

A drunk stumbles out of a bar with a key in his hand. A cop sees him and says, “Can I help you, sir?” “Yes! Somebody stole my car.” The cop asks, “Where was the last time you saw it?” “It was on the end of this key,” says the man. The cop looks down and notices that the man’s penis is hanging out of his fly. “Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?” the cop says. Confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and says, “My girlfriend’s gone, too!”

Monday, September 24, 2012

Smilin Bob For Sale on The Purple Passion Club Calf Sale on CW Cattle Sales!

Smilin Bob For Sale at LR Cattle on CW Cattle Sales!

Joke of the Day!

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.

He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.

The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."

The guy, surprised, says "Yes! How did you figure that out?"

"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."

One thing led to another and they make love.

After they have done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist."

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, How did you figure that out?"

"Didn't feel a thing!"

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Joke of the Day!

A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double martini on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double martini. After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double martini.

Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."

The customer replied, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Smilin Bob Sold at Hainy Farms for 6,250!

Smilin Bob sold at Dennert & Eichler for 20,000!

Heifers For Sale Tonight at KJLS in Wichita 7:00PM!

Call for details or to bid!
Scott Garten (785) 479-1871
Rusty Skinner (979) 595-4420
TJ Skinner (620) 655-5159

Joke of the Day

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events." "Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.

"$2,467", he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like sh*t!" Then I would say, "It is sh*t. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

Friday, September 21, 2012

Smilin Bob Heifers at KJLS selling at 7:00PM Saturday the 22nd!

Call For Details or to Bid on the Heifers!
Scott Garten (785)479-1871
Rusty Skinner (979)595-4420
TJ Skinner (620)655-5159

Smilin Bob Calf Sells for $35,000 at Thompson Show Steers

Joke of the Day!

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Smilin Bob Calves for Sale at Richey Cattle!

Joke of the Day!

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper. 

"Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?" 

"Well," he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a baby's kiss. It's $1.50 per roll." 

He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll." 

Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her, "We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 cents per roll." 

"Give me the No Name," she says. 

She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, "Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne." 

"Why?" he asks. 

"Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap off anybody!" 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Smilin Bob Calves for Sale at Shaver Cattle Sale on CW Cattle Sales!

Joke of the Day!

An Arkansas woman is in the welfare office filling out forms. The welfare officer asks her how many children she has? 

"Ten boys." 

"And their names?" 

"Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, and Leroy." 

"All named Leroy? Why would you name them all Leroy?" 

"That way, when I wants them all to come in from the yard, I just yells 'LEROY!', and when I wants them all to come to dinner, I just yells 'LEROY!'" 

"What if you just want a particular one of them to do something?" 

"Then I calls him by his last name." 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Reserve Grand Champion Pasadena, Tx Sired by Smilin Bob!

Congratulations Utzman Family
Raised by Deitz-Olsen
Sold by Scales

Calves For Sale!

Tag 465
Heatwave x Pumpkin(Kris Black Char x Habanero)

Tag 466
George x Maine

Tag 862
Monopoly x Maine
Call for More Details!

Reimann Ranch Club Calf Sale Bids Close Sept 19th!

Tag 16
Smiling Bob X Direct Hit X Chill Factor

Joke of the Day!

Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. 

Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in 'the act'. 

Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?" 

Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. 

Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. 

Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. 

Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!" 

Monday, September 17, 2012

Smilin Bob Calves for sale at Thompson Show Steers on CW Cattle Sales!

Joke of the Day!

Actual Writings on Hospital Charts

1. The patient refused autopsy. 

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 

5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 

7. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. 

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 

9.The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 

10. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission. 

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful. 

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 

13. She is numb from her toes down. 

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 

15. The skin was moist and dry. 

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. 

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. 

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 

24. Skin: somewhat pale. but present. 

25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 

26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 

27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities 

28. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room 

29. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. 

30. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. 

31. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. 

32. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 

33. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. 

34. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. 

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Smilin Bob x Paleface raised by and shown by Manning family in Ohio

Joke of the Day!

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the Captain announced, 'One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry, we have three engines left.' 

Thirty minutes later, the Captain announced, 'One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry, we have two engines left.' An hour later the Captain announced, 'One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left.' 

One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said, 'If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day.'

Friday, September 14, 2012

Smilin Bob for sale at Dennert and Eichler on CW Cattle Sales!

Joke of the Day!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Holmes asked. Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Somebody has stolen our tent!" 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Joke of the Day!

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. "Are you the Manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face now with both hands. Actually, no" he replies. "Can you get him for me -I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and his full head of hair. "I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?" 

"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues seductively, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. She slowly continues, "Tell him,... that there, no toilet paper in the ladies room."

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Joke of the Day!

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. 

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. 

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. 

He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. 

He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on. 

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

South Dakota State Fair Grand Champion Sired by Smilin Bob! (picture)

Smilin Bob Steer at Garwood Cattle Co online sale on Breeders' World September 20th!

Smilin Bob Heifer for sale at Kohl Cattle Co on Breeders' World September 16th!

Joke of the Day!

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.

So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to ask me?"

The boy said, "yes she did."

"Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you." 

Monday, September 10, 2012

Champion Charolais Minnesota State Fair Sired by Smilin Bob!

Shown & owned by Leah Putzier
Smilin Bob x Miss Zing(Charolais)

Joke of the Day!

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by and asks him why he's crying. 

The old man says, "I'm retired and I have lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife who loves me and has sex with me twice a day" 

The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?" 

The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!" 

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Congratulations Riley Cass!

Champion Angus Ring A Reserve Champion Angus Ring B at Brazos Valley Fair! 
Sold by Skinner Cattle Co!

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Joke of the Day!

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. 

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. 

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry. 

"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. 

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. 

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked. 

"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. 

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. 

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."